


Jim Is An Awful Patient

by quittersneverwin



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-25 12:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quittersneverwin/pseuds/quittersneverwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(yay a title that isnt one word and pretentious go me)<br/>In which Jim is an awful patient to treat and Bones has to find a way to stop him making things worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jim Is An Awful Patient

God knew that Bones spent enough of his life patching Jim up. That man was constantly getting himself into fights and tight situations. Jim was, and always would be, the one to throw himself from a moving shuttle to see if it was safe enough for his crew and, since it usually wasn't, Bones was always the one who had to put the pieces back together again. He swore that almost seventy percent of his life was dedicated to bandaging, plastering, or disinfecting parts of Jim's anatomy.

Jim was, of course, an absolutely terrible patient throughout all of this. He fidgeted, mumbled, scratched, and picked. The other thirty percent of Bones' time was spent yelling at Jim to "sit back down until that bone heals. Dammit, man, I do not want to reset it again.”

Whenever Jim had an illness he couldn't clearly see, (meaning one that did not physically involve torn skin or broken bones) he became a lot worse. Whenever Bones confined him to quarantine, he would find Jim flirting with another patient within the hour. If Jim was prescribed bed rest, he made miraculous recovery and would instantly become well enough to spend a night on the town. 

Sure enough, as everyone does, Jim finally contracted a cold. He wasn't usually the sort of person to get ill - Bones had come to doubt that there were any germs left in existence brave enough to take on James Tiberius Kirk - so this came as quite a shock.

"No. Surely it has to be something worse than that." He complained loudly from him self-proclaimed deathbed. "I feel awful. Parts of me are leaking that never ever should!" Bones rolled his eyes. He may be medical officer of the most advanced space ship in star fleet but Kirk clearly thought he knew better than him. "And, while you're at it, there has to be something you could do for this cough of mine." Kirk wheezed feebly and tried to look ill but Bones wasn't having any of it. However, rather than trying to verbally dissuade Jim - which always ended in disaster - he formed another plan. 

Trying to keep a straight face, he crossed the room to the cabinet where he kept the medication. Kirk allowed a small grin of triumph to rest on his smug face. "Since you feel so terribly, awfully ill, I'm sure there's something I can do." Bones said, trying to sound sincere.

Taking care to shield Jim's view of his hands, Bones picked up the largest needle he could find. Turning round, he had the pleasure of glimpsing a look of pure terror cross Jim's face before his friend started backtracking frantically saying how he really didn't feel that terrible and how it would be a shame to waste star fleet resources and he would 'bravely soldier on'. 

Chuckling to himself, Bones replaced the needle and threw himself down on the bed beside Jim. "What you have, Captain, is a slightly-worse-than-average cold. All you need is some rest." Already Jim's legs began to shake and it was clear he would make an attempt at escape within the next half hour.

Bones, however, had other ideas. "Wait right there." He fixed Jim with what he liked to think was his stern-yet-wise doctor face and marched into the kitchen.

Within five minutes he was back proudly clutching two mugs of hot chocolate and a bowl of popcorn. He reclaimed his space on the bed and held out his arm out. Jim buried his face in his collar bone and wrapped his hands around one of the mugs of hot liquid. Bones turned the TV in the corner onto some crappy soap which had lots of people crying and plenty of shouting. The two took it in turns to dip their hands into the popcorn while a pair of blue aliens had a dramatic break up in front of the first blue alien's wife (to be honest, Bones didn't give a damn about the programme although, oddly enough, Jim seemed to get quite into it). 

Eventually the day past and, light faded. As the credits of yet another reality TV show (the fifth they had watched that day) scrolled by, Bones glanced down to see Jim resting peacefully on his stomach. Smiling to himself, Bones shunted down under the covers next to him. He may have wasted a whole day of work but he didn't care. It had been fairly therapeutic watching fictional characters have worse lives than him. He only wished he could do this every time someone was ill.

**Author's Note:**

> pls tell me what u think ??????? thank


End file.
